There are specific things you should always do when traveling by air with a young one.  The very first rule that you should never ever, under any circumstances forget about is rule number one.  Do not forget to pack all four of babes' favorite blankies—ALL OF THEM.  Forgetting this simple rule can result in late arrival to the airport because you WILL end up returning home for them. 

Rule number two…  Arrive at the airport EARLY—plan for plenty of time to spare.  This seems pretty simple if you’ve accounted for bungling the baby blanket bag—but you may also need extra time to A. take the stairs if babes won’t get on the elevator.  B. reassure the little one that the suitcases that you just handed off to the airline attendant--the suitcases with all of her clothes, toys, necessities--that these suitcases will actually show up on the other end when you get off of the plane—they’re not stealing them.  C. buy gum, water, the newest  TY Beanie Baby, French fries, and the new People issue with President Obama on it.  D. say good bye to Daddy.

If Daddy is staying at home, and you are traveling with the babes alone, rule number 3 will definitely apply. 

Rule number three…  Don’t show up to your departure gate just as they are boarding first class ticket holders and travelers with young children.  Babes will not be ready to get on the plane.  She will begin to panic realizing that this is the moment that she has to say goodbye to Daddy, and she will begin her hugs and kisses routine.  This requires counting kisses from 1 to 35 (at which point you suggest she moves on to hugs).  By the time you get to 35 hugs, she’s beginning to cry.  Once general boarding begins, her crying turns to sobbing and the snot begins to stream down her face.  She is clinging to Daddy like Mariah Carey’s clothes.  There is no consoling her, and she demands to call Grandma and tell her that she is not coming. NEVER.  Now, not only is babes weeping, but so are several women standing near by that are witnessing the emotional breakdown of your daughter. 

Rule number 4… Do not tell her that she’ll see Daddy in 10 short days—do not bring up the fact that she can call Daddy whenever she wants to (she’ll undoubtedly remember this in her hysteria and ask to call him as soon as you take one step onto the ramp, during take off,  while cruising, during landing, and after). 

Rule number 5… If you’ve screwed up every rule to this point, you’ll have to succumb to desperate measures.  You will have to tell babes that Daddy will be on the next plane and will be joining the family soon.  This will ultimately be the only way that they will hold the plane long enough for you to get on.

Rule number 6…  Say thank you to the nice man that offered to take your bags on the plane as you pried your daughter off of Daddy so that you could lug the forty pounder down the ramp. 

Rule number 7…  Don’t bother trying to console her with the blankets that you brought in her baby bag; the bag has already been loaded 10 rows beyond your seat because while you were handling the departure debacle, the luggage bins were filling up all around your assigned seat. The flight attendant inevitably has to find an available spot for your bag—such a skillfully situated spot that it was near impossible to find in the 30 second cushion of time you have before take off.

Rule number 8…  Make sure you have correct change...  FYI, wine costs $4.

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