I recognize that I have a problem. I’m using the phrase, “Are you shittin’ me?” way too often.  Granted, I have my hands full with my little precocious rebel, but I’ve made the pledge to keep it clean—so I will seriously try to keep it under my breath...

The top phrases that follow “Are you shittin’ me?” as of lately…

1.       AYSM?  I just picked up your room not even five minutes ago… 

2.       AYSM?  You did NOT just pee on the floor… 

3.       AYSM?  A watermelon? Under your bed?

4.       AYSM?  Eat your food, don’t play with it, smear it, or throw it.  No, we don’t live in a barn.  No, we’re not sending it to China.

5.       AYSM?  Is that Top Ramen… in your hair?

6.       AYSM?  Cheese sticks taste the same as the shredded cheese.

7.       AYSM?  No you didn't just put your sticky dirty hands on the window (fridge, mirror, counter top, couch, chair, desk, television, floor, lamp, your face, your cousin…)

8.       AYSM?  You ate every stinkin’ marshmallow charm out of the cereal?  

9.       AYSM?  Glue doesn’t stick to dogs… Really! Neither does glitter or lip gloss!

10.   AYSM?  Why did you put your head in there in the first place?

11.   AYSM?  You dropped it in the toilet!?!   Again?

Valentine’s Day has always been one of my favorite holidays to celebrate…  I love thinking of little surprises for Scott, and now that I have Katie, I get to spoil her, too. 

Over on Mom Dot, they are doing a fabo giveaway just in time for this special holiday; hence this blog post.  All you have to do to enter is come up with the worst gift you’ve ever received…  And what do you win? An awesome Hoover vacuum cleaner!

Mom Dot Contest rules:  What they want to do is trade a Platinum Lightweight Bagged Upright and Portable Canister worth $399 in exchange for your worst present (virtually of course).  How is that to make the season bright? Plus, starting off the new year where you can clean from top to bottom, is a wonderful way to feel fresh. Out with the old…in with the new.

My worst gift was easy to come up with…  In my former position as a teacher, we had an annual Christmas gift exchange. It was a White Elephant style exchange, but most of us always tried to bring a gift with a little pizazz—something fun to give and receive…  Imagine my surprise when it was my turn to open a gift and I found inside a Chia Dick.  Yes, you heard me right! I will spare the details...

With gift giving in mind, I decided to do my own little Valentine’s Day giveaway.  Below is a picture of a whimsical bracelet that I made tonight just for this special occasion—put together with sterling clasp and spacers and glass beads (they may be amethyst/jadeite --not positive as I bought the beads a long time ago).  I think the light purple and green color combo of the beads is cute—and I made sure to add a few hearts.  Great for a little gift for yourself or someone on your Valentine’s Day list. 

What do you have to do to win?  Just leave a comment here and you’re automatically entered.  I will announce the winner Jan 31st in time for me to get an address and send it off. 

Photo:  One of my favorites of Katie and Daddy.

And the winner--ehem--winners of the white chocolate giveaway are...

(Thanks to my random generator--Katie--she chose two--one in each hand.  I told her to pick just one, and she looked at me with those big brown eyes and said, "Please Mommy, I choose bofe of deese...)

Erin from the Mom Buzz and Frogmama!

Sorry to those who didn't win--but stick around, I'm bound to come up with another cool review/contest... :)

Please send me your address at nicole@mousepad.zzn.com (Erin, I may still have yours--I'll check...) And I'll get them in the mail ASAP!  Um... I will guarantee no meltiness until I put drop them in the mail--after that I no longer responsible ;)

Symbolism is the applied use of symbols: iconic representations that carry particular conventional meanings.  English teachers know all about symbolism, too—they seek to identify words that function symbolically in literature.  

I recently found myself laughing out loud while reading a post on the Un-Mom’s blog… "Or possibly you're flashing me? Either way, UNHELPFUL"

Today, on a small task for a friend, I came across these, which kinda reminded me of her hilarious post...

Ooookay...here we have two arrows moving opposite directions with a screw underneath them.  Clearly this has to do with my everyday choices--Right or left, this way or that way--either way I go, I'm screwed...  

And this one.  If you've recently moved, your friends might flash you this symbol...  You might recognize it: Hey buddy, moving all your s#*( is a pain in the a$$.  

Mommies, what do you think this one is?
Should be easy enough; it's a time-out, right?

I think this might actually be my husband.  He has both of his fingers in his ears—denial.  You know he’s all “Nananana, nanananana.”

What the heck? 

I told my hubbs what I thought this one looked like--he suggested I have a talk with Dr. Freud...

Fondant is a cream confection and is typically used for fillings or to cover a cakes—like the Cadbury eggs that taste so yummy—they are filled with fondant.  Fondant candy is essentially sugar and water boiled—sometimes with flavoring and glycerin.

And you’ve also probably seen those gorgeous cakes with the smooth matte or shiny frosting.  Your likely looking at rolling fondant.  Attempting to make fondant seems scary and hard to do, but with this simple rolling fondant recipe, you’re sure to have a successful experience…  (NO BOILING!)

Since Valentine’s Day is coming up, I thought I’d whip up some rolling fondant to show you how easy is to create a dreamy treat.  I did not have a cake mix handy, so I just used a store-bought brownie mix and used cookie cutters for my fondant and brownie shapes.

Here are the 4 simple ingredients—let’s get started!

16 ounces white mini-marshmallows
3 to 5 TBS water
2 pounds Powdered Sugar—sifted…
3 TBS shortening
(you may wish to add clear vanilla or another flavoring)

How easy is this?

Melt marshmallows and 2 tablespoons of water in a double boiler, microwave, or on the melt setting on your stove.  If you have a stand alone mixer—transfer the melted marshmellow to the bowl.  Add ½ to ¾ of the powdered sugar, 2 TBS of shortening, and another TBS of water.  Use the dough hook and blend.  You will need to add sugar and/or shortening and/or water to get the right consistency—it should feel a lot like play dough—and will not be too sticky. If it’s too dry—just add a little water… 


If you do not have a stand alone mixer, you can knead the dough, but you may need to use more shortening—covering your hands so that it does not stick too badly as you go… You will have to knead the dough for upwards of 10 minutes—that’s why a stand alone mixer is so great—but you can still accomplish fondant without one!  Your final product should be firm and stretchy—you should be able to pull on it without it tearing.  This is a very forgiving recipe—so experiment as you go.  You can add food coloring and knead in—or use your mixer once your dough is blended.

Try rolling out your dough. I use a little waxed paper and cornstarch to keep the dough from sticking--if you color your dough, go lightly on the cornstarch.  Use strips to wrap into little roses.  You can also use cookie cutters to create shapes to top your goodies.  If you want to cover an entire cake, roll out a large circle big enough to cover your cake and then some.  Place over the top of your cake once cooled and then cut along the bottom edge.  You will probably want to frost your cake or goodies first to help the fondant stick!  I use a little frosting for glue as I go.    

You can definitely let it sit overnight—and you may well want to separate your baking and decorating.  In that case, wrap your fondant extra tight, slightly coat your fondant with shortening, and store it in the refrigerator. 

You can also buy fondant at most craft stores--but it is so easy to make this way--you really should try this first! 

If you’ve spent any time on the Internet, you’ve read mommy reviews.  I enjoy them, and I would even like to participate—but how are they getting these review opportunities?  Beats me.  I assume they are being paid for their stellar reviews.   Isn’t that nice…  Well, no one is knocking down my door to have me banter on about baby wipes or Betty Crocker, so I’m gonna join the fiesta without a bid—that’s right, I’m crashing this gig. 

Hershey’s Cookies n’ Crème—the ultimate persuader, finagler, wangler!  This is a mom must have.  I’m not suggesting that you load your kids up on unhealthy food, nor is this a regular in Katie’s food provisions, but in a crunch,  a little Hershey’s can go a long way!  A conversation might ensue like this…

Mom:  Mommy needs to go to the doctor today; get ready.

Kate: No Mommy, I’m not sick.  I don’t want to go…   

Mommy: It doesn’t matter what you want.  Now get your clothes on;  let’s go.

Kate: No

Mom: Yes

Kate: No

Mom: Yes

Kate: No

Mom: No

Kate: Yes… MoooooMY!  I don’t want to go.  I won't go. Never.

Mom: If you get ready in 30 seconds, I’ll give you a square of Hershey’s Cookies and Crème bar…

Kate:  *contemplating*  Oh sure, Mommy…  That will be great.  I’ll bring my doctor book…
 

I know there is some child psychologist out there screaming “NOOOOOO!  never bribe your children with food.”  Whatever.  It’s not like it’s a daily event.  This is in-case-of-an-emergency only,  a Plan B.  You must know what I’m talkin’ about!  It works every time.  Don’t believe me? I’m going to ante up and send one lucky winner a handful of Hershey’s Cookies n’ Crème bars.  I will warn you that I live in Arizona, so it’s a crap shoot whether or not it will make it to you without melting all to h#))—but I’m a gamlin’ kinda girl.  It’s your chance for some Hershey bars—gratis—just leave me a comment and I'll mail the lucky chocoholic a batch of 'em…  Sweet serendipity! The winner will be announced sometime soon…

Unbelievable! A plane crashes in New York's Hudson Bay...  I sat mesmerized in front of the television watching the news report.  Amazing circumstance with an incredible outcome.  Thank Heaven that no one was seriously injured! Do you believe in miracles?

Ooookay, so I was looking through our picture folders for a Wordless Wednesday pic, and I came across this beauty!  I thought I'd gotten rid of all the butt-shots--NOPE!  Is my perverted hubby the only one that takes pictures of his wife's bum every time he gets the chance?  Nice...